Freedom and Love

Two hearts that beat as one...that may be the most popular idea of love. But ideally, a truly independent relationship should allow each person to develop and grow within the partnership. Loving your partner does not mean being totally dependant on your partner. And, keeping your independence in a relationship is more a state of mind than a way of behaviour.

When love happens, you may think that your partner is all you need. And it is also assumed that if two people are in love, their tastes must be the same in everything. But on the contrary, giving up activities and friendships that you enjoyed before you met your partner is unlikely to benefit your relationship. Later on, you may resent your partner for asking you to make this sacrifice or assuming you will. And you never know - your partner too may regret it! If the only people a couple talk to are each other, both may soon find their lives and ideas become stale and boring. Having your own friends and pursuing independent interests outside the relationship can be beneficial to both of you. It brings back new and fresh ideas to your relationship - and gives you both the chance to learn and grow. Sexual independence builds emotional self-confidence. Sexual independence does not mean being promiscuous. On the contrary, people who are sexually independent are often the most faithful. Being sexually independent means acknowledging that your sexuality is something within you - and not dependant on your partner's response. Understanding your body can go a long way in tuning in to your partner's needs. And the ultimate sexual satisfaction comes not only from being a skilful lover - but from being at home with your own body and it's sensations. The search for independence begins in the teens, and now is when you learn to make your own choices. But soon peer pressure creeps in, and before you know it, you are living life according to someone else's rules. To gain the best out of life, free your spirit from peer pressure by gaining self-confidence. Most couples fail to establish an equal give-and-take relationship because they lack confidence - both in their own abilities and in their partner's love for them. Acknowledge your partner's right to opinion as well as yours, and you will be laying the foundation for a truly independent relationship.
 

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