Unwelcome or offensive sexual conduct is most often termed as sexual harassment. It could include sexual propositions or threats, remarks about sexual orientation, sexual gestures, suggestive or derogatory remarks or jokes, display of suggestive pictures or drawings and unwelcome touch. In reality, the line between fun and sexual harassment is rather thin, which is why the definition of sexual harassment is often based on how it is regarded by the victim.

How would it affect you?
Even in the mildest form, sexual harassment creates confusion because the normal boundary between professional or social roles and personal relationships gets blurred. It affects the victims in many ways. The most common effects are,

Powerlessness - the victim often feels powerless to stop the situation, as they fear retaliation. They also fear being termed a trouble-maker and that the complaint may not be taken seriously.

Guilt - Victims often blame themselves and are also afraid that by reporting the case, others may blame them - their behaviour, the way they dress etc.

Change of Plans - Most victims of sexual abuse drop out of courses, give up their job, neglect academic commitments or responsibilities to avoid the offending person.

Physical Symptoms - Symptoms of stress, stomach disorders, headaches and depression are the effects of sexual abuse. Many victims also suffer lower self-respect, self-esteem and self-confidence.

How do you deal with it?
There are many ways to deal with sexual harassment, but remember,
IGNORING IT DOESN'T STOP IT.

Here are a few tips to help you:

• Don't just hope it will stop - take action or seek advice and support at the early stage to avoid further complication
• Allow yourself to get angry - use the anger to help you focus and take action
• Tell someone - discuss the behaviour with a friend, parent, counselor or authority who could help you plan an appropriate way to deal with it
• Let the offender know - be clear and direct in addressing unwanted or offensive behaviour and get across the message that you want it to stop
• Keep a record - make a note of specific behaviour and comments, date, time and witnesses

Remember, it is the effect on the victim and not the intention of the offender that defines sexual harassment. As most offenders would say, sexual harassment is definitely not "just the way things are between a man and a woman." Do not be afraid of being termed as "too sensitive" or as a person who cannot take a joke. Make an effort to be firm, for sexual harassment is illegal whether it is subtle or severe. And silence is not the answer.

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